Today I went to see my OB/GYN for my annual exam. (Not my favorite thing to do, but hey, ya gotta go!) I filled out a stack of forms—insurance, update address, etc. And then came a page of sort of general health questions.
It was the first question that got me. “Are you happy with your current weight?”
And I had to actually THINK about it. AM I happy at 193? If someone told me this is as good as it gets, I won’t lose any more, would I be OK with that? I’m 7 pounds from my goal weight of 186. I’ve lost 93 pounds in the past year, 293 since 2001. But what if this was all there was?
Filling out the forms quickly, I checked ‘yes’ and wrote “almost!” next to it.
But was that really my true answer? Am I happy or not? Why did I feel the need to qualify my answer with an “almost”?
So I’ve been thinking about that question for the past hour. And I realized something. I AM happy with my current weight. Sure, I’d like to “finish the job” and get to 186. But if that never happens, I’ll be OK with it. I figure, when I set out on this journey, I set out to lose 76 pounds, not 100. My goal weight was 210. I reached that goal a few months ago, and changed it to 186. I really hope I reach that goal, and I really believe I will. But if my body decides to hang around at 193? I’ll still be happy. I’m still in the best health of my entire life. I still look SO much better than I have in at least 16 years. I can still wear Misses’ size clothes. I am comfortable in my own skin. And really, that 186 is just a number on a scale. It doesn’t define success. Success is all the things I’ve achieved already, even with 7 pounds left to lose. There’s not a timetable on this last 7 pounds. Sure, I’d like to do it by the end of the year, but if it takes longer, it takes longer. My body is pretty much in charge now.
The doctor was called out on an emergency, so I have to go back to see him in 2 weeks. If I get to fill out that form again, I know what I will say. I will answer YES, without qualification. Because I AM happy with my current weight
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