March 30, 2009 How Did I Get Here, Where Am I Going, and What The Heck Do I Do Now??

I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, hoping to see a loss. I was not disappointed. I was down 2.8 pounds! I have NO idea how that happened, or why, but it did. Which is quite significant.
I have now gone BELOW my goal weight of 175. I am at 174. I am "done".
And now the hard part begins...maintenance.
This is uncharted territory for me, and I have to admit to being more than a little bit scared. I really feel like I don't know how to do this! Sure, I know I'm supposed to increase my calories by 100 a day this week and 100 more next week. But that isn't as easy as it sounds!! I had agreed with my nutritionist that I would add some nuts and some granola, keeping the rest pretty much the same. Yesterday I added the granola, and was still at the bottom of my new range! Today I ate my usual breakfast, one of my standard lunches, and added the nuts to my afternoon snack, and I still have over 600 calories to use for dinner! What on earth am I supposed to do?
I know, I know, it will take some getting used to. I've been eating the same way for so long that I could do it almost without thinking about it. Now I will have to think about it again! OK, I can do that. But still, that fear is there. WHAT IF I GAIN IT ALL BACK?
Irrational? Certainly. But it's here, nonetheless and I can't exactly ignore it! On Saturday, I must have somehow known what was coming, because at Whole Foods, I "treated" myself to a slice of cake AND a cookie. Unheard of for me. Self sabotoge for sure. But yesterday and today, no way, no "treats" for me! It's kind of like, OK, I'm here, now I have to make darn sure I STAY here.
I did some more shopping over the weekend and seem to finally have a workable wardrobe. I will need a few more shirts, but I'll pick those up as I find them. I had one salesperson tell me "you certainly don't need an XL, you are so small", and she turned out to be right--the L was fine. (so, why does my 93 pound daughter need a M in the exact same sweater?????) I also got a cute spring jacket, size 12 Petite! Talbots came through with some new styles, including wide leg jeans, which are my new favorite type of pants--so forgiving of my heavy knees! I still need to figure out my own personal "style", but for now I've got some good classics and some bright colors to work with.
It's been said that success is a journey, not a destination. I would have to agree. I may have reached the station, but my journey is really just beginning.