February 8, 2009 Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired

Enough already! I haven't felt right since January 2nd! We're talking over 5 weeks of this garbage.
First it was the tooth abcess. Then the bronchitis. Now I'm not sure what it is. I'm exhausted. Any movement at all makes me dizzy and lightheaded. I get short of breath walking across the room. My heart races like mad sometimes--yesterday I clocked it at 135!!! (Heck, I don't get that high during most workouts) in between, I've had some serious nausea, and a couple episodes of barfing. I have had it with this feeling crummy.
I haven't been to the gym in weeks. I'd give anything to be able to hop on the elliptical right now, but I wouldn't last 2 minutes. I nearly passed out in church today, and when I made it outside to the fresh air, my breakfast came back up. I came home afterwards and slept for an hour and a half. My "lunch" was a little bit of juice and some goldfish crackers--all I could handle at that point.
I have to go to NYC Wednesday for my 2nd try at pre-admission testing. I'm not even sure they'll clear me for surgery, which is now scheduled for February 18. Am I ready? Could I handle the surgery right now? I honestly don't know. I saw my doctor on Thursday and she ordered some lab work, so we'll see how that comes back. With my luck, I'll find out I'm more anemic than usual, and they'll refuse to do the surgery regardless of how I feel.
Despite the lack of exercise, and the fact that my food is a mess, I've continued to lose weight. Probably becuase I'm losing muscle, which is NOT a good thing. I feel like I've lost all the progress I had made in the past year as far as stamina and strength. I'll probably have to start over from scratch when I finally do get back to the gym.
The other day I tried to eat my normal breakfast, the one I eat every single day most of the time. I couldn't finish it. I can eat only a little at a time, and the food that goes down easiest is not the food that's best for me. I've graduated from pudding and ice cream to PB&J and York Peppermint Patties.
So, how do I get my mojo back? How do I climb back on the wagon, when I feel so crummy? And who do I see about getting a "do-over" for 2009 so far?