December 6, 2008 Taking It To The (Pilates) Mat

When I went for my fitness assessment last week, the nurse suggested I try some classes. Since I felt the need to "shake things up" with my workouts, I agreed that it was a good idea.

So, on her recommendation, this morning I headed for the 8:45 Pilates Mat class. She had assured me that my current fitness level would make this class a perfect fit for me.
I walked into the nearly dark room, found a mat and a spot on the floor, and took off my sneakers, as everyone else had done (I'd actually wondered what type of shoes one wears for Pilates, now I know!) I saw that everyone had some sort of a round, ring type thingy, so I got one of those too. I took a seat on my mat and waited for class to begin.
We started out with some stretching. First thing, everyone sits Indian style. Umm, can't do that, so I modified. Not particularly comfortable, so I kept changing how I was sitting. But I was able to do all the stretches, and they felt pretty good. Hey, not too bad!

Next, we lay on our backs and did some leg lift sorts of things, some crunches of some kind, some bridges, and some other stuff I seem to have blocked from my memory. Several times I just had to stop, because my legs couldn't stay up in the air any longer! I WAS pleased to see that the one move that had us coming up to a sitting position from flat on our backs was quite do-able for me, although I got the feeling that my abs would be singing to me later today, and it wouldn't be the Hallelujah Chorus.
Then it was time to pick up the rings. They're sort of a bendable ring with foam hand holds on each side. But all I could think of was the sensor rings in the "Coneheads" movie!! (you know, the ones they use for Conehead "sex".) Anyway, it started out ok, holding them overhead while we did leg lifts--it was supposed to help the "mind-body connection". Whatever. Then, she told us to put the ring between our feet. Um, how? I had to sit up to do it, but when I tried to lie down, it kept falling out! Everyone else seemed to have had no problem, and was happily doing the moves as the instructor called them out. I was still fighting with the sensor ring.
She had us turn on our sides and do some small leg lifts. Now THIS I can do! I do it every session with my trainer, and with weights! She came around to check our form, and commented that even though I was unable to do some of the other moves, I did have perfect form. Well, form before function, right? I was fine at that point, until she said to put the ring between my shins and compress it somewhat between the legs. Umm, OW! That hurts! But again, everyone else seemed to be fine with it, so I just did my best. My hips were making nasty remarks about the stupidity of being in this class, but I ignored them and kept going.
Time to turn on our stomachs. Off come the glasses. Rest your nose on the mat. Imagine pushing a marble with your nose. So far, so good. But then she had us get on all fours. Um, I can't DO that. My knees don't work right, they don't bend that far, and I can't really do it. So I SORT OF did it, but not all the way up on my knees. That was just fine, until she asked us to raise up our right arm, and then our left leg. AT THE SAME TIME! Which would have left me supporting all 187.4 pounds of me on my right knee and left arm! NOT gonna happen honey!
At this point they started doing all sorts of funky moves that were so far out of the realm of possibility for me that I just lay down on the mat and watched everyone else. I sneeked a peek at the clock and saw that we had 10 minutes to go. Now she wants us to get into "child's position". HUH?? So I watch the others, and they all fold their knees under them and sit back on their calves. Hmm, I couldn't do that when I was 8 years old! "Now bend foreward and stretch your arms out". In other words, fold yourself up into a tiny little package and you can probably fit into a large suitcase, suitable for shipping to some far-away place where they've never heard of Pilates. Needless to say, I was unable to do this part. OR the part where you make a "C" out of your body, with your legs in a "V" position, and roll back onto your back and then up to a nearly seated poisiton, over and over and over.
Finally, it was time to stand up. Yay! I can DO that! So up I came onto my feet, and was able to "stack my spine" up quite nicely into the stretches she had us do. At last, the class came to an end, and I gratefully put away my mat and sensor ring, put my sneakers back on, and took a nice, long drink of water.
I headed out the door, intending to hit the elliptical and spend 45 minutes doing something that I'm actually GOOD at. But coming in was a friend from church who teaches classes there at the gym. "What are you doing?", she asks me. I told her I had just taken a Pilates class, and she asked why I didn't take hers. (Believe me, I know better. I've heard all about her classes, and she is BRUTAL!) So she says I should take her spin class. LOL, yeah, right! I explained that I can't ride a bike because I don't have enough bend in my knees. So she drags me into the spin class room, shows me her bike, and has me hop on and try it. Sure enough, I can't do it. But she persists, and says next week when she isn't running to teach a class, she'll get me set up on a bike so I can turn the pedals, and then I can take her class.
Well, I really DO want to be able to ride a bike. It's my long term goal. So I told her, "If you can get a bike to work for me, I'll take your class". I figure it's a worthwhile trade. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm safe--she's not gonna be able to get one to work, so I'm not gonna have to take the class!
I headed off to the elliptical, and stopped on the way to check the class schedule for next week. Because on Thursday, I'm trying another class. Turbo Kick. Sorta like kick boxing, very fun.
According to the same nurse who said Pilates would be a great idea for me.
I wonder if I'll live to see Friday...