February 26, 2008 Back to the GYM!!!

Yup, that's right! I got clearance from all my doctors, and headed to the gym right after lunch today. I got signed in, photographed, and then it was up on the treadmill for me! I did 30 minutes, a full mile! It felt sooooo good! Tomorrow I will probably try the elliptical, and see how I do with just one hand. The trainer I spoke with today said I should not be using either hand on the TM or the elliptical. HUH? My balance isnt' good enough without holding on! I'm liable to fall right on my face! Hmmm, well, guess I could TRY....

It's funny (as in funny strange, not funny haha), but I always, ALWAYS hated writing down everything I ate. Maybe because I felt I couldnt' cheat? But this time around, keeping track has been a godsend. Why is it different? Well, I think a big part of it (maybe all of it?) is the elimination thing. Not being able to have eggs, milk or wheat has so greatly limited what I CAN eat, that if I don't write down what I DO eat, I'll never remember the ideas from one day to the next! I know, pathetic, right?

I can honestly say that in the past 8 weeks I have had almost no desire to "cheat". And trust me when I say that is unheard of for me! At this point, it's pretty easy, since the things I would most likely cheat with are things I can't eat due to the sensitivity thing. I mean, having bread and butter won't only wreak havoc on the scale, but it would totally screw up the whole elimination thing. And that, I'm just not willing to do at this point!

I must admit though that right now, having had my evening granola early, I am sorely tempted to go have more! Would it kill me? No, it's 140 calories, not 1000. But I am trying very hard to "ride the wave" and not do it. So, instead, I'm here writing about it. With the scale being so weird for me--up a bit one week, down alot the next, and then back and forth between the two--it would be easy for me to throw up my hands in disgust and just give up. But I'm not going to do that! The trend is downward, and that's what matters. I'm wearing my "skinnier" pants (if you can call a size 20W "skinny") and feeling great. I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill today. (WOOHOOO, that felt GOOD!!!! ) And I KNOW that I am eating just the way I should be eating. I've come prepared for the battle of the bulge. I am fully armed. And now the outcome is not up to me anymore. My body will do what it will do. I cannot force it to lose any faster or more consistently. I cannot make it walk faster, or climb higher, or stretch farther. It is what it is. As long as I keep doing my part (eating right, taking the supplements, and exercising), I know I am doing all I can to win the battle. The rest is up to my body. I just hope and pray it has forgiven me for all the years of abuse and neglect.