So, the good news is that after 2.5 months, I can start slowly reintroducing dairy and wheat back into my diet! The first thing? Whey protein boluses. I bought them today at Vitamin Shoppe. It tastes like concentrated KoolAid--waaaayyyyy too sweet. But only 1.5 ounces? I can do that. AND it packs 21 grams of protein in that little drink! And it's surprisingly filling. So we'll see how that sits for a few days, and then try a little something else? Cheese? Yogurt? No, I know. COTTAGE CHEESE!! The thing I've missed the most! Anyway, I feel like I've been released on parole--just to see how things go, but I have to keep checking in with my parole officer (the nutritionist) on a regular basis.
The other big news is that after the gym today, I decided to look through some of my "thin clothes" in the closet for something to wear. The pants I've been wearing are just too darned big anymore. So I was looking through, trying to find something that wasn't too winter-looking (ie, wool pants...) and I found a pair of red and black pants from Talbots. I thought, "hmmm, maybe", but then realized they were size 18W. Not gonna happen. So I decided to see just how close to fitting they would be--could I even get them ON? And guess what? They fit! I actually wore them today! I feel like a fashion model or something, in my "skinny pants".
So then, I got to thinking. There's this red dress from Talbots that I've been drooling over. Only problem is, it comes in Misses sizes to 20, but not Women's sizes. Well, hmmm, an 18W and a Misses 20 have pretty much the same measurements...Maybe? Possibly? By July? I mean, at $138 the dress is too pricey for a 'someday"-hang-in-the-closet thing. But maybe by June it would be worth trying? And then I got the mail. And in the mail was a coupon, from Talbots, for 20% off. Which makes the dress only about $110. Which is still alot, but the coupon is only good for 2 weeks, so I would have to get it NOW. So I decided, this is meant to be. And I cut out the picture to put on my fridge, and I'm ordering the dress tonite. And I can't WAIT 'til it comes and I can try it on and dream of how I'll look wearing it in Scotland. In just 104 days!
In other news, skin graft surgery is scheduled for May 1, and I should be able to come home the next day, or 2 days max. Why, I don't know. But this beats the heck out of 5 days! This makes things a whole lot easier. By God's grace, I may have an intact abdomen by Mothers Day! (Please, please!!)
Danny's behavior has gone from bad to worse. I'd finally had enough and threatened boarding school. Turns out there is a school in NC that would be perfect for him. I'm keeping it as an option. He got very upset and promised to do better, and he was an angel this AM and before dinner, but since dinner he has been as obnoxious and disobedient as ever. I told him the choices were his, and that if he makes poor choices, the consequences will not be pleasant. As of now, he has nothing. No priviledges. No toys. No activities. Guitar lessons are gone. Cooking school is gone. Video games confiscated. Room cleaned out of everything except clothes and books. And he can get it ALL back. But he has to choose to do the right thing, and he doesn't seem to care enough about it to make that choice. In the meanwhile, I am not going to let him push me around anymore. I'll just leave the room. He can yell all he wants at an empty room. And when he doesn't get any of the things he wants, he will eventually have to face the fact that HE chose not to get it, by his behavior.
Thank God for Prozac, or I'd be on a cliff right about now. But I will be strong, and I will do my part, and if we end up going on vacation without him, maybe THAT will be a wakeup call. Probably not. But at least we will be able to enjoy our vacation! Hey--I can always send him to camp for 6 weeks instead of 3...Amazingly, through all the upheaval, I have not turned to food. June asked me today what made the difference this time. I think it was a combination. The impetus came from "I'm going to Scotland and I'm going to be in shape" at the beginning of January. 2 weeks later, my stay at Canyon Ranch had a major impact. And 2 weeks after that, eliminating so many foods. There's a HUGE difference between "I can't eat that, it will make me fat" and "I can't eat that, it will make my sinuses crazy and my eczema itchy and I'll feel like garbage'. Just a completely different perspective. And you know what? I don't WANT to go back to feeling the way I used to. I never realized how bad I felt until I felt better. I LIKE the way I feel now. So why on earth would I CHOOSE to put something in my mouth that I know would change that?
It will be interesting to see how this goes, this re-introducing the eliminated foods. Slow going, for sure. I have to watch the symptoms closely to see if any return.But the main point here is that I am healtheir than I've been in as long as I can remember. I'm healing, at long last. AND I just happen to have lost about 40 pounds in the meantime. Nice side effect, huh?
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