January 11, 2008 Temptation Rears Its Ugly Head

Started off great with my egg and toast breakfast and a trip to the gym. (.35 miles and 13 minutes). I had my apple for my AM snack because I was on the run with Deb. She bought some sinful chocolate things at the store, and instead of eating a whole one (70 calories) I ate about 1/3 of it (25 calories). It was gross.

I stopped by the office where I used to work to pick up a prescription for me (it's a pediatric office) for a new CPAP machine. My sister had gotten one, and where my current one is about 10-12 pounds, her is less than 3. GREAT for travel--and I do alot of travelling. So I wanted to order one to replace my big clunker. I had called my doctor and she wasn't available, and I wanted to get this ordered ASAP so it would get here before I go to Canyon Ranch next week. Therefore, I called my old boss (and good friend) to ask for it. No problem. They tried to fax it for me, but it wouldn't go through, so I had to go pick it up.

So, as I'm leaving the office, she tells me that the other girls who work there (who are the main reason I left) are not happy about the fact that she wrote me this prescription, and that it could get her in trouble, etc. HUH??? She does it for them all the time! OK, it's for medication instead of a CPAP machine, but what's the difference? It isn't going through my insurance, so the only people who will see it are the people at the CPAP place, and it's not like its for something new, it's a replacement for something I already have!

Now, she's been telling me stuff like this for several months, about "the girls" having a problem with this or that that I do or don't do. NOT that I've done anything wrong here. (I really haven't!) So, I've often wondered, if they say this stuff to her, and she doesn't agree that it's a problem, then, why does she feel the need to tell me about it? It just upsets me, and she knows that. So today, why did she have to tell me about this? Or, is it not 'the girls" who have a problem, but the good doctor herself, and she doesn't feel comfortable telling me herself? Hmmmm.

Now, this stuff is the reason I left this job, which I LOVED when it was just me and her, but now I couldn't wait to get out of there. She doesn't seem to GET it that I'm gone. She keeps asking things like "so, is Monday the day you'll be able to help us out each week?" Ummmm, NO, I dont' work there anymore! I told her well over a month ago that I wouldn't be back after Christmas! Now, if she's so upset about me leaving and can't stand to be without me, why is she telling me this stuff that's gotten me so upset I chose to leave??? We've been friends for over 7 years, way before I went to work for her. I don't want to lose her friendship, but this whole thing has me really upset.

OK, enough about that garbage...I took my kids to their cooking class tonite. When they're done, the parents get to taste what they made. I took a tiny taste of the cream of broccoli soup--YUCK! I didnt' even bother to try the cream of potato. They also made cheddar biscuits, which I LOVE, but instead of eating one, or 3, or 10, I took a tiny bite. It was YUMMY! But that was it for me. Dinner was Turkey Pot Pie (homemade by me...) and I only ate a small piece. That and a salad was plenty. I've gotten in my 64 ounces (actually, that's a pretty low amount for me!) Now as I'm sitting here with Deb, she pulls out a 3 Musketeers Mint bar, something new. I took a miniscule taste, and it was GROSS. So that's basically 4 "tastes" today, which is unusual for me. But at least they were just tiny tastes, not whole snacks! I think I handled the temptation pretty well.

Meanwhile, I've got a killer sinus headache and my kids are driving me nuts. But I got through another day and I'm still on program and that feels good. Maybe I'll go to sleep early tonight...