The Christmas Letter I SHOULD Have Sent

After reading all the holiday newsletters from friends and families, I noticed something.  My family is different.  All these people with their perfect children who play 2 sports, are musical prodigies on at least 2 instruments, are honor students and Eagle scouts and take lessons in everything from Martial Arts to Ice Skating to toilet paper arranging...not to mention the super Dads who coach soccer, are Scout leaders, and are in line for sainthood, while Mom keeps busy making wholesome meals for the family, driving the carpool in her hybrid minivan in 3 directions at once, and never loses her sense of humor.

Are they pod people?  I feel like I'm reading Science Fiction when I read these stories!  Do perfect people like this even exist?

Not in my world.

So here is my response, the letter I really should have sent, becuase it tells it like it REALLY is in my life:

December 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

January started off with a bang, as I developed a major tooth abcess that ended up requiring an extraction and the first stage of an implant. Eating was very difficult, as I was almost completely unable to chew. I was scheduled for knee replacement surgery at the end of the month, but developed a nasty case of bronchitis the day before, and had to cancel.

In February, Danny turned 12. This in itself is quite a miracle—being that he has actually been allowed to live that long. Danny has ADHD, ODD, IED, and a host of emotional issues. While HE may or may not suffer from these things, be assured that the rest of us most certainly DO suffer—A LOT! I finally got my knee replaced mid-month, and spent the rest of February and all of March doing the rehab to recover.

In March, my Dad decided he was tired of being the only one in the family without orthopedic issues. He fell down the steps at a restaurant and broke his shoulder. This gave Mom the opportunity to see the other side of the coin, as she has always been the one needing help. The two of them were like the blind leading the blind, but they managed.

In April, we escaped to Turks and Caicos for a week. Unfortunately, we did not escape completely, as Danny was along for the trip. Laura and I made the best of it. Once home, we opted not to open our pool for the season, since it needed extensive repairs. Apparently the people who fixed it 8 years ago didn’t have a clue what they were doing, and did it all wrong, making it even worse than when they started. I had to make a choice between camp for the kids or fixing the pool, so I opted for sanity…er, camp.

In May, Mom had a knee replacement, so Dad had to take over being the helper. He also had to learn to cook. This was quite interesting. I had my 7th hernia repair in 7 years. The incision once again opened up shortly after surgery, and I am still walking around with a big hole in my gut 7 years later. I have come to accept the fact that it will never heal.

In June, we hit a bright spot—we thought. It seemed that Dad had moved to the top of the kidney transplant list. But it turned out to be a false alarm. He’s still a year or two down from the top. Laura participated in the Special Olympics in swimming. She may not be much of a student, but she’s quite a fish.

In July the kids went to camp and I got a much needed break. I went to Scotland for 2 weeks. They were gone for 5 weeks (Laura) and 6 weeks (Danny). The plan was for Laura to come home and spend a peaceful week with me without her brother. That didn’t happen.

In August, just before Laura finished camp, Dad had a mild heart attack. He spent several days in the local hospital before being transferred to Philadelphia to the University of PA hospital, where he spent 10 days. They needed to put in a shunt, but he would have to take Aspirin and Plavix. Problem is that he’s allergic to Aspirin and if he’s on Plavix he can’t have a kidney transplant. So they had to desensitize him to the aspirin, which was very scary. Then he had the shunt put in. Both the shunt and the cardiac cath that diagnosed the blockage required the use of dye that could potentially tax his kidneys badly enough to force dialysis. He got lucky and that didn’t happen. He came home in time to celebrate with a weekend family trip for Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary.

In September the kids went back to school.

In October, I had the second knee replacement. It was a lot harder than the first one, with a lot more pain.

November was pretty much taken up with recovering from the knee surgery and lots of Physical Therapy. I spent a lot of time taking Percocet and watching the clock for the next dose.I was happy not to get addicted to Oxycontin, which I was taking for the pain when the Percocet wasn’t enough.

December has been a banner month for us. I found out the cataract in my right eye is getting so big it’s hard for the doctor to see behind it to make sure my retina isn’t detaching. Our dog, Duke, was diagnosed with Thyroid disease, and will have to take medication for the rest of his life. He has gained over 30% above his normal body weight, and was very lethargic. Hopefully the pills will help him. We had a blizzard here in NJ and got 16 inches of snow. Meanwhile, Debbie had rain and flooding over in Turkey, all while battling Swine Flu. Dad’s blood work shows his kidneys are getting worse and we figure dialysis is just around the corner.

Laura is 14 and in 8th grade. She is in a self contained Special Ed class, working 2-3 years below grade level. In math she has finally learned to tell time and to count money. She’s pretty good at baking cookies, and is a good swimmer. And we were very happy that for the first time in ages, she got through the whole year without having to be in the hospital for seizure monitoring.

Danny is almost 13, and in 7th grade. He should be getting As and Bs, but instead is getting Cs and Ds. He thinks homework is optional, at least for him. But we are very pleased that he has only had 4 detentions so far this year, and has made it to Christmas break without being suspended. So far this year Danny has quit chorus, quit guitar lessons, quit drum lessons, and quit our church Youth Group (well, actually he was asked to leave) He takes more medications than I do, and while they don’t make him fit to live with, they certainly make it better than with nothing.

I have become addicted to Farmville on Facebook, which keeps me too busy to go to the gym, so I have gained back 15 pounds, which I will have to lose again come January. I am averaging 10-15 hot flashes a day, so the layered look in clothing is my new style.

Well, that’s our update for this year. We just love reading all your letters about your happy families and perfect children. It’s such a foreign concept, it’s almost like reading Science Fiction.

Have a Happy and Healthy SolFestChristmaKwanzakkah!

The Girondas